I've Been Away for too long from HIM..

Im sitting alone and wondering.. Where am I? Where i've been?? I feel too far away frm God.. I know He is with me all the time.. I know He showering me with his Love... I know he feed my Soul with his blessing... But do I always be there for God?? What did my little hands have to offer for Him??

My Savoir is all I have in my life.. I looked up in the Bible.. I read all the sacrifice that Jesus Christ made for us.. & I wondering to myself... What did I do in Return?? Then it hits me.. God never ask any return frm us.. He just want us to Love Him as He Loves us.. He wanted to us to be A good Child of Christian just like our parents wanted us to be.. Am I a good Child?? I never can answer that question.. Its not my right to judge myself or condemn myself.. Its not my right to judge people and condemn them..

Myself , I know... I always been caught up by this world insanity but still He be there for me.. When I called His name, I know He reached into my heart and I hold that moment for some times.. But where did it goes?? Im holding it for too little time.. It keep makes me searching and yearning for some more.. But why do I did it slow?? Why so I always holding it back??

My time are wasted because I keep on asking and wondering..But I cant help it.. Maybe I cant change the world or myself in a minute...and same goes to the rest of us.. Maybe our heart still have an empty hole in it.. and we keep on wondering why this is happening...That what happen when we are too far away from God.. This is what happening to me.. Should I let it be this way?? No I wont... I wont let the time swollen me and took the rest what remaining in ME.. I stand for forgiveness..and that is just not enough.. I still have a long way to go to change my whole life and change myself to be a better person.. & no matter I change myself I know I never be great enough but when I change myself.. I know and I can feel the power of Love that have been sent frm above... That is all I need In this Life.. A new Me.. A blessing from God.. 

I've been to far away from God.. Yes I realized it.. The time makes me missing Him so much.. I kneel myself and close my eyes..opened up my heart.. Fill me Lord.. Fill my empty cup.. Teach me how to be a better child... Lead my way.. No matter what happen.. Just show me the way.. Cut the rope that been tighten me for too long.. Ive been in despair for such a long time..Bless me O Lord... Amen...